AAARRRGH!

Okay, apparently I have no idea how to post pictures on my blog, EVEN when I follow the directions. Just take my word for it, I'M FAT!

Hello Baldness, My Old Friend

As I was showering last night, I wrapped my fingers around the bulk of my wet hair and discovered that it measures about 2 centimeters in diameter. What happened? When you're pregnant, those 9 months seem like all you've ever known and you can't remember a time when you weren't nauseated or hungry or apparently, when you didn't have handfuls and handfuls of hair! Was my hair this thin before? I begin to wonder if it doesn't have something to do with my lifestyle (i.e. eating habits, sedentary living, etc.). When you are taking care of yourself, everything benefits. And the reverse is also true: when you aren't taking care of yourself, everything suffers. Anyway, these are just random ramblings as I begin to recognize the many consequences of my neglect of my health. My skin is definitely a casualty and I have to think my hair might be, too. Yet another reason to get serious about being healthy and not just skinny!

The Red-Eyed Monster

Well, my period has reared its ugly head in a big way! Today I ate two chocolate Poptarts slathered with leftover frosting from a cake I made yesterday (which I also finished off, thus the desperation of the frosted Poptart). And I am currently thinking of heating and devouring an entire Totino's Four Cheese pizza. Help! My hormones are demanding FOOD. I looked up PMS on Wickipedia and it said food cravings are definitely a symptom of it. I am going to try really hard tomorrow and pray that my will is stronger than my hormones!

Spiritual Nutrients

This last week has been really hard. I was having a hard time controlling my eating and I was doing a lot of emotional eating as a way to protest the start of another hectic semester of never seeing my husband. So on Sunday I decided to fast. I didn't fast about losing weight, I prayed instead that I would be able to reign in my emotions, which seemed to be swallowing my reason lately. Then when we went to Mom and Dad's for dinner, Tyler and Dad gave me a blessing. I know it's only Monday, but this has been the easiest day by far since I started this weight loss quest. AND I even started my period today (which may explain the eating and the emotions). I know that when I eat my emotions, it's usually to fill a void. When you stay close to the Lord, and ask for his help, those voids seem to grow smaller and you see your options for filling them a little better. Thus the title of this post. A few general conferences ago, Pres. Faust gave a talk entitled "Spiritual Nutrients" about how there are certain spiritually nourishing activities that can keep us spiritually strong. And when we are spiritually strong we are better equipped to meet the challenges we face, such as learning a healthy lifestyle that will allow us better quality of life and longevity. It just struck me how true this is when I finally was forced into humility at my utter inability to solve this problem on my own. When I added the spiritual nutrients of fasting and prayer, my challenges became much more do-able. So this is my challenge to all of you: What "Spiritual Nutrients" are you missing? Work on one and see if your weight loss challenge gets any easier. Even if it's as simple as quiet time for reflection on things you're grateful for, work on it. It's worked for me way better than my hypnosis CDs ever did!

I love you guys!

This blogging idea was genius. Kudos to Kyla. I love reading about how we ALL struggle and I'm not the only one having sugar meltdowns and picking brownies out of the trash! That more than anything inspires me to do better because I know I'm not some freak and this never happens to anyone else. EVERYONE who has ever lost weight has probably struggled like this throughout their experiences, and ESPECIALLY at the beginning. So when we struggle, we are in the company of all our fellow fat busting sisters who went before! I will not allow my slip ups to discourage me. I'm going to Skinnyville! **This is where Kyla pipes in with, "Of course you are. And I'm comin' with you!!"

Oh Crap!

Kyla, I totally feel for you. Yesterday I also had a meltdown and ate a whole box of chocolate poptarts. I didn't listen to my hypnosis at all yesterday. Baby was having a rough day so I didn't get a chance. Maybe it does make a difference after all, even if I do laugh! I think I'm having a hard time because food is my coping mechanism, if it gets taken a way I have to come up with a new way to not go crazy and slit my armpit! Any suggestions?

Here you go, Kyla

So, I am starting a blog about my weight loss quest at the request of Kyla. You may wonder about the title of my blog. That's too bad. Just kidding. Here it is... don't laugh. I bought a weight loss hypnosis CD from an infomercial. Well, the guy who does the hypnosis talks like the mayor from the Simpsons. At one part he says, "My voice is like hypnotic dah-kness to your mem-O-ry." It's really hard to write how he sounds, just take my word that it's really funny. You're supposed to be all relaxed and impressionable, but every time I hear that part I have to laugh. Maybe that's why I'm still fat. Who knows. I'll post before pictures later. Tyler knows how to work this new fangled contraption that is our laptop better than I do, so I'll have to wait till he gets home. Think slimming thoughts my way and I'll do the same for all of you!