Well, I might be dieting after all...

My doctor's office called today. I have to go in for a 3 hour blood glucose level test. Apparently, my numbers were a little high with the one hour test. If I have gestational diabetes I'll have to go on a diet! No sugar! We'll see. I am really hoping I don't have it. Wish me luck!

Random

This is a weird and random post, but I had no other outlet to post my new discovery on. Kate Moss has revealed her gray hair and I think she is beautiful. She has a kind of wise and weary delicacy that reminded me of a favorite graphic novel character from my youth. See for yourself.

Misery

It's official. I am now vomiting more than I am eating. I can barely hold down water before 6pm. It wasn't this bad with Sarah. I am going to go stay with my mom for 2 weeks and hope that's enough time for it to pass. My child has become feral and lives off anything she can reach from the refrigerator, so I figure she could use a visit to Grandma's as much as I can. I'm hoping it's twins so I don't have to do this again. I'm not sure why this pregnancy is so tough. It could be my weight or my advancing years. Either way, I'm determined to be in much better shape before I decide to get pregnant again.

Still haven't done my pregnancy workout video. But I have lost 10 pounds. Most of which is probably due to atrophy. I can really feel the loss of muscle tone in my back so I'm looking forward to being able to exercise. I might try just some simple yoga to strengthen my core so when my belly starts protruding my back won't kill me. I'm not just nauseated anymore, I've actually started throwing up, so that's always fun. We're having the missionaries over for dinner tonight. Wish me luck being able to clean the house and make dinner without throwing up 50 more times!

Update

I have not done my pregnancy workout video still. I've been too sick to even exercise. Good news is that I've been feeling to sick to eat much so I'm not gaining any weight. In fact, I am pretty sure I've lost a few pounds. Of course, that could be from atrophy as I've been mostly just sitting around for like 3 weeks. And I started spotting yesterday, which I did with Sarah, but just in case, I'm taking it kind of easy right now. ANBO- I don't know what you're doing because you haven't been posting anything (hint hint) but you look fantastic in your new Facebook profile pic.

Exercise!

I am officially pregnant. My missed period was supposed to start September 16th. Morning sickness has kicked in already, even though it's really afternoon-bedtime sickness. I have found out something that will be a great motivator, though. I feel better on days that I exercise! I hardly get sick at all on days when I'm able to walk. Today was a sit through church day, so I'm feeling pretty horrid at this point. Tyler let me order a pregnancy workout DVD and it just got here yesterday. I am excited to try it out. It will be something I can use here in our home while Sarah's sleeping or while it's snowing or raining. It got really good reviews. I'm going to just watch it today, it being the Sabbath, and I'll try it out tomorrow and let everyone know how it goes.

Breakthrough

I have been doing well lately. It's not so much that my diet has changed, but that I'm eating less food less often. I feel like I was lead to a book description on Amazon that has changed everything. I don't even remember what the book was called, but the theory was that certain people need to feel safe in order to lose weight. It has to do with whether you're programmed with the fight or flight response to stress. I didn't understand it completely, but it lead me to think about feeling safe and losing weight. Something in my brain was telling me that I wasn't safe and to protect myself I needed to provide padding. It seemed a lot like the description in Feelings Buried Alive Never Die under feelings we have that make us fat. I've been doing the script in Feelings Buried Alive for feeling unsafe and I can't believe the difference it's made. I was starting to fear I would never be able to get my eating under control. I just HAD to eat. Since I've been doing this, I hardly snack between meals, I listen to my body when it feels sated, I don't eat 3 or 4 servings of dinner just because it tastes good with no regard to the sick feeling that comes. I am amazed at the difference this small thing makes. I want to start the He Did Deliver Me From Bondage program again. I think you have to be at a certain point before it can be effective and I wasn't at that point yet. I'm feeling optimistic about weight loss for the first time in a LONG time and it's really exciting!