P1D1

Last night the exercise talked about carnal-mindedness vs. spiritual-mindedness. As I wrote earlier, I've done this exercise a few times, so I tried to look at it a different way. Instead of thinking about a carnal solution, I thought about carnal reasons for wanting a solution. Why do I want to lose weight? Is it so the world will approve of me? Or is it to restore the sanctity of my body, to show gratitude for the wonderful gift it is and to be more obedient to the principles of the gospel?
That was just my little comment for Principle One, Day One. PLEASE, someone else post something. Anything. I don't care! Just let me know I'm not alone.

One More Time with Feeling

Okay, I'm guessing no one did all the exercises for Principle One. I know I didn't. What can we do to make this happen? Should we post our exercises on our blogs? Maybe just a few thoughts from each day's exercise? I want this to work. I need this, and I'm sure we all could use it. I'm going to sit down right now and do the first exercise from Principle One. Right after I post a list I told Kyla I'd post.

"No matter how entrenched an addiction may seem, it can be made to vanish before the spiritual power within you." - Deepak Chopra

1. Did you get the right amount of sleep last night?
2. Did you start your day with nurturing activities that strengthened you in body and in spirit?
3. Did you find real pleasure in your work?
4. If you felt angry at someone or something, were you able to express this in a constructive way?
5. Were you able to experience nature today with awareness and appreciation?
6. Did you find time for enjoyable activities or exercise?
7. Were you able to spend some quiet time by yourself?
8. Did you laugh with real pleasure today?
9. If you felt tired or under stress, were you able to rest for a while?
10. Did you take your meals in pleasant surroundings, with company you enjoyed?
11. Did you show love today to friends and family members?
12. Did you freely and joyfully receive their love in return?

These were listed as Dr. Chopra's 12 Steps to Overcoming Addictions in his book, Overcoming Addictions, if you can believe it.

And to get us started, here are some thoughts I had the first time I did Principle One.

"As President Benson said about taking the slums out of the people - if I seek the Lord to solve the underlying spiritual illness, of which being overweight is a symptom, the outward change will follow. Permanent change is affected from the inside out, and our very inside is our relationship with our Heavenly Father and our Savior. If we spend all our time working on a physical solution, it will die with our bodies. If we implement a spiritual solution, it will rise with us to the next life and continue to develop there, eternally."

I love you guys and hope this can help get us all started.

83rd Time's the Charm

I am having a really hard time wanting to do these exercises because I've done them like 4 times in the last 6 months or so. I have done the first and second principles A LOT. I am going to really sit down and do them all tonight, though, so I hope everyone is at least trying. AND the first principle is hard for me. I always think, "Yes, I am worthless trash. I know. Do I really have to go through this yet again?" Maybe that's why I do have to do it yet again. I have the feeling they want you to feel some sense of relief at knowing you're an ineffectual clod of dirt. The relief somehow escapes me. Is anyone else having a hard time? We're here to support one another. Don't stay silent if you're struggling.

Where are we?

Just a quick check on progress. Has everyone been prepping? Kyla - are you getting all your books read so you can start in earnest on the 29th? I've been reading my scriptures and saying my prayers in preparation for beginning the program. I've been figuring out what I want to do to lose weight. Anyway, I just wanted to know if everyone was gearing up for the real fight! Let's get pumped! Yeah! Whooooo! Okay, enough of that. Just let me know.

How are things?

What is the situation with books? Does everyone have one? Has anyone started the pre-reading? I think I might just set a date that I'm going to start. It is now official and Tyler has the job in Yuma, CO. He was approved by the school board and went up yesterday to meet the rest of the music program staff. This means we have to be up there by August. July will be an incredibly hectic time for us, but I would like to set the start date for the He Did Deliver Me from Bondage Program as June 29. I'm doing this on purpose so that if I can do it during July, everyone else can, too. That means NO EXCUSES! Kyla! We need to be accountable for having our assignments done by a certain time or else this won't work. I don't care if you skip one and have to double up the next night. We need to have them done so we can share insights. The insights we gain when we do and discuss the assignments are what will help up overcome our addictions. Is everyone with me? Please say yes.

CRAP!

Well, apparently I can't live with it for even one day. I did okay until I went to mom's and ate 2 oz. of cajun trail mix. Then I ate dinner of posse stew, but only one small ladle-full. But then I started watching Diners, Drive-ins and Dives on Food Network. I swear it's like my pornography. I had a leftover beef and bean burrito from Nacho's in the fridge. And I ate it. And it was delicious. But it blew my whole day. I just saw that Niesa and Anbo both posted recently and it was about the emotional aspect of overeating. I really want to rededicate myself to the He Did Deliver Me From Bondage program. Will somebody (or many somebodies) do it with me? Kyla? Niesa? Anbo? Anyone. Anyone. Bueller. All silliness aside, I just found my weight loss tracking journal from when I lost 80 lbs. and I realize I was changing a lot of things in my life and it made me feel positive about weight loss. I've changed all the big things: I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, get tattoos/piercings. I go to church, I've been to the temple, I do my callings. Now all the little insidious things that were covered before I changed are starting to come out. I'm really struggling and I know that as long as these things have not been resolved I will never find a lasting weight loss strategy. Changing the small things that don't have as big an impact as the really bad things is a lot harder. I'm going to need help and support and someone (or someones) to be responsible to. Is anyone with me?

I haven't posted for a while

So, as the title of this installment states, it has been many moons since my last post. I finally have broken down and am choosing something that I CAN'T live with for the rest of my life. And frankly I don't care as long as it means I can start losing weight. My friend's wedding is this Saturday, and I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I am eating 3 cheesesticks, fruit and 1/4 c. of nuts a day. That's it. At least until the wedding. Then I may consider changing it around.